Engineering

Exams are coming near ,want to finish all subjects on time,actually I'm planning to complete the one or two fifth of every subject ,rest will get covered automatically.Today I was studying LIC ,thought that I should buy an op-amp and timer 555 IC so that studying becomes a bit easier as I'll be looking at the things about whom I'm studying in detail.But don't want to go out to the market ,it has been a long time since I got out of my house without any really important work.I just need to go out and feel the air outside but the thing I don't like about going out is that I have to answer a lot of questions of my grandpa ,like where are you going ,why are you going  and at last it is not good to go out .I wonder if I'll be able to see the real world ever ,my family is always going to keep me bound to home .I really like to go out and see how people are doing and it makes me feel independent and free ,it also decreases my stress level which I think is considerably high but people around me think that the only important thing in my life is to study and I don't like to argue or tell lie though I think that it will be the right thing to do ,including regular outings in my schedule is going to help me a lot to reduce my stress level which is a major thing on which I am working from the last five years of my life .Really I worry a lot and don't enjoy life much that may be the reason I thought about committing suicide many times in the last few years .When I go to bed I feel like a long dagger should pierce my heart ,yeah.
Coming back to topic I have started studying for knowledge instead of studying for marks ,it helps a lot in studying ,I feel like studying the topics that are not the course also ,feel like studying them only .Still trying to invert my sleeping time ,I'm trying to stay awake at night so that I get more time alone in my room which I expect is going to be utilized in meaningful activities .

Silence vow

Had silence vow today ,but spoke 2-3 times by mistake ,read this thing in the book "The monk who sold his ferrari " by Robin Sharma .Really it gave a lot of peace .This thing makes you realise at least one thing that you don't need to speak always .You have an option to let the thing go and move out without speaking anything .Staying quiet also makes you feel peaceful and calm ,after all work is not everything happiness and peace of mind hold considerable value in life.Besides this I gave a speech on AI in Poornima college yesterday ,it was good ,though some girls were laughing on my stuttering but good thing about this was that there also I knew the real value of those bitches and people who were listening with patience ,not only for me but also in the market.
Coming back on silence vow ,it makes you realise your aim in life and the things you really need to do to achieve it.Don't feel like writing more ,attaching the certi I got from Poornima...not attaching it is taking a lot of time.

GYM

I joined gym about 2 years ago when I joined the gym I thought that soon I'll be having a very good physique and a powerful body ,I think everyone expects that before joining gym .But physique is a very far thing now the thing that I now aim at by gym is health and confidence ,don't know why I resist going to the gym ,because I resist changes or because I am resistant to a better life .whatever I want to go to the gym regularly it improves life in every aspect .Lets see when I start going to the gym and when the standard of my life starts elevating .I believe that every person gets what he wants to get ,if you are not getting a thing then you are not willing to get it hard or you know that you will not be able to handle that thing .Like if I wanna go to the gym Ill wake up early in the morning even without an alarm.May almighty help me to include gym in my regular schedule. 

What the hell is AI?

I have to give presentation on artificial intelligence soon and I'm wondering what new I should include in it to make it better or even worth to be presented in a national conference .I have already submitted the paper so can't do much changes .Another thing I was wondering about was that I should concentrate more on presentation or content .Both are necessary but not sure what's necessary in my case .Will try to finish it as soon as possible with satisfying content so that I can concentrate on presentation.This presentation will go well ,it has to ,fingers crossed.

It has been approximately 10 months since I started in speaking in English heavily .I still remember ,it started with an aim of getting a better job ,yeah fluent English can be a good criteria for getting selected in an interview .But now it has become a source for providing energy ,it makes me feel that I've got something that others don't   have .It seems English should have been my first language ,can't be sure if it would have been then this magical effect might have not been there .Earlier it was difficult for me to switch in English and Hindi and my stammering also got considerably high when I tried to pick up English but now it's fine ,its better then ever.My lecturer asked me that am I getting confidence by speaking in English and I said yes .But I think that the reason I am able to speak it and start it was that I had confidence and not vice versa .Lets see for how long it continues.